| 00:08:30 | |
| Gary | Dark Planet Cola! Destroy your taste buds! |
| Scorch | This is 800 percent sugar. |
| Gary | That's what makes it good for kids. |
| 00:26:32 | |
| girl | I thought this movie was supposed to be in 3-D. |
| guy | Shh. It is in 3-D. |
| girl | OK, that's better. |
| 00:29:19 | |
| fat guy | This is Hawk calling. |
| fat guy | I work at 7-Eleven near Area 51, |
| fat guy | and after years of waiting, |
| fat guy | it finally happened! |
| host | You had a date with a girl. |
| fat guy | What? No. A close-encounter, man! |
| 00:38:04 | |
| cat | OK, so you're the ugly brother. |
| Gary | Oh, well, I wouldn't put it that way. |
| cat | Oh, it's not a question. |
| 00:50:26 | |
| Scorch | Tell my fans I love them. |
| Scorch | Tell the guy that waxes my ship... |
| Scorch | what's his name again? |
| Scorch | It doesn't matter. |
| Scorch | Just tell him that I love him. |
| 00:53:39 | |
| Gary | I scored a 12.0 on my galactic engineering exams. |
| Gary | Do you know what that means? |
| cat | You had no friends in high school? |
| Gary | It means in a galaxy filled with nerds, I'm their king. |
| 00:57:03 | |
| general | I'm gonna wipe out the alien infestation one planet at a time. |
| Gary | If you destroy every planet with intelligent life, |
| Gary | you'll have no stars left in the sky. |
| general | My stargazing days are over. |
| 00:59:57 | |
| console | This whole villain thing, it's not you. |
| console | You know? And the stress is aging you, if I might be... |
| Lena | Shut up. Don't you have a mute button? |
| 01:00:40 | |
| general | Our government thinks asteroids are Earth's biggest threat. |
| general | But some of us know better. |
| general | The biggest threat to planet Earth? |
| cat | Global warming. |
| general | Aliens. |
| 01:10:07 | |
| fat guy | Wait! Aren't you going to abduct us? |
| Gary | Uh, we don't really do that. |
| fat guy | They come in peace. |
